ENTIRE STATE OF OREGON FLEES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

LEAVES NOTE SAYING IT “CAN’T TAKE LIVING ABOVE CALIFORNIA ANYMORE”

Artist's depiction of 98,000 square mile 

patch of dirt left behind after state of Oregon's departure

The entire state of Oregon fled sometime early yesterday morning, leaving behind 98,000 square miles of dirt, an old Subaru, and a note reading, “It’s not that we dislike California, but it’s like having a neighbor who has way too many people living in their home and never paints the house or fixes up the yard.”

Oregon’s current whereabouts are unknown but Kentucky wasted no time in expressing interest in moving to the vacant site between California and Washington.  ”We can get along with ‘pert near anybody,” said Kentucky Land Office Director Goby Harkiss.