WORKERS COMPLAIN THAT THE UNEMPLOYED ARE GETTING TOO PHYSICALLY FIT

"I'm working 70 hours a week and have no time to work out, yet my unemployed neighbor looks like Mr. Universe.  It's not right," grumbled 36-year-old electrical engineer Angus Pasternak of Vancouver.  The concern over the contrast in fitness levels between the employed and unemployed has also reached the highest levels of government.  At a press conference yesterday, U.S. Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis stated, "It's a fairness issue.  The majority of our workforce is out there doing the right thing--working long hours in stressful jobs, not working out and eating plenty of junk food.  The unemployed have too much time to exercise and that needs to change before we become a nation of abs and ab-nots."