LOCAL APPLE STORE RUNS OUT OF NEWEST HOT PRODUCT

BUYERS WAIT FOR HOURS TO PURCHASE APPLE'S NEW iHAD ONLY TO BE DISAPPOINTED 

Apple iHAD

Hundreds of customers flocked to the Portland Apple store yesterday hoping to buy the new iHad, a device that allows owners to easily list everything they lost during the great recession.  But most people left empty-handed after the store ran out of the just-released pad a half-hour after opening.  "We really feel bad for our customers," said Apple store employee Luna Moon Spumacher.  "We only had 100 of them and everybody wants one.  It's certainly right for the times," said Spumacher, who added, "And at just $35.99, I think Apple will sell millions of them."   

The iHad's 11" X 14" ruled writing display surface is made of a patented high-tech cellulose pulp material.  Unlike other, more expensive devices, the iHad is very lightweight at just three ounces, and books, magazines and newspapers can easily be read simply by placing them on top of the iHad's non-touch screen surface.  

While there have been a few complaints that the iHad is not equipped with a web browser, camera, PDF reader or wireless capability, Apple says those features are available on their other products.  "It's incredible.  It took me just a few minutes to list all the stuff I don't have and can't afford anymore," said loyal Apple store customer Brock McKesterson, wiping a tear from his eye.  "Those Apple guys are geniuses."