SWEDISH DAY LABORERS OUTSIDE PORTLAND IKEA STORE IRK SHOPPERS

Customers of the Portland IKEA store are complaining that an influx of Swedish day laborers outside the store is ruining their shopping experience.  

“They’re out there every time I come, and they're all carrying a carpenter’s axe, and they laugh loudly and drink their Bryggkaffee Mörkrost,” complained Bethany Taynor, a regular IKEA customer.  “Last week, I tried to go to buy some Bumerang curved clothes hangers, and this guy in the parking lot stops me and asks if I need any boats built.  It’s really annoying.  I’ve switched to Bed, Bath and Beyond, but I’ve got to admit, I really miss my Skorpor Fullkorn in the morning.”